Confisus viribus Confident in my own powers

Naughty boys ;)

Nov 14, 2008
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http://groups.drew.edu/medfest/archives-photos/archives/theatre/goodshipvenus-adult.htm

This is the text of one of many versions of the pirate's limerick, "The Good Ship Venus". I was first introduced to this work by Red Douglas of The Daring Douglasses, he has a much more complete version of the poem that he plans on using as part of his show at Ren-faires. Due to this fact I will only provide the inferior version here in defference to Red's ability to earn a living.

The Good Ship Venus

Credit: http://wumea.tripod.com/venus.htm

'Twas on the good ship Venus,
By Christ you should have seen us;
The figurehead
Was a whore in bed
Sucking a dead man's penis.
The captain's name was Lugger.
By Christ he was a bugger.
He wasn't fit
To shovel shit
From one ship to another.

The first mate's name was Carter.
By God he was a farter.
When the wind wouldn't blow,
And the ship wouldn't go,
Carter the farter would start 'er.

The second mate's name was Hopper.
By God he had a whopper;
Twice round the deck,
Thrice round his neck,
And up his arse for a stopper.

The second mate was Andy,
By Christ he had a dandy,
Till they crushed his cock
On a jagged rock
For coming in the brandy.

The third mate's name was Morgan,
By god he was a gorgon,
From half past eight
he played till late,
Upon the captain's organ.

The captain's wife was Mabel,
And by God was she able
To give the crew
Their daily screw
Upon the galley table.

The captain's daughter Charlotte,
Was born and bred a harlot,
Her thighs at night
were lily white,
By morning they were scarlet.

The cabin boy was Kipper,
By Christ he was a nipper.
He stuffed his arse
with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper.

The captain's lovely daughter
Liked swimming in the water.
Delighted squeals
Came when some eels
Swam into her sexual quarters.

The cook his name was Freeman,
He was a dirty demon,
He fed the crew
On menstral stew
And hymens fried in semen.

The ship's dog's name was Rover,
We turned that poor thing over,
And ground and ground
that faithful hound
From Tenerife to Dover.

And when we reached our station,
Through skillful navigation,
The ship got sunk
in a wave of spunk,
From too much fornication.

Alternatives

The captain's name was Morgan,
By Christ he was a gorgon.
Ten times a day
He'd stop and play
With his fucking organ.
The first mate's name was Carter.
By God he was a farter.
He could fart anything
from God Save the King
To Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.

The captain's daughter, Mabel,
Though young, was fresh and able,
To fornicate
with the second mate,
Upon the chartroom table.

Day 16

Jul 21, 2008
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Day 16
Monday, July 21st

Took out a sample, yeasty, sweet and a bit dry, can taste alcohol, no idea what percent it is though :D ... a couple more days perhaps?
Fermentation stopped, siphoned, and bottled. Chillin in the cooler now.

Anthrax - Startin' Up A Posse

Jul 12, 2008
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Anthrax - 04 - Startin' up a Posse

Now Im gonna tell ya a story
A tale of wrong and right
And freedom is the reason
You cant take it without a fight

So now Im startin up a posse
(suck my dick, suck my dick)
To come and look for you
Were gonna put a stop
To what you want to do
You fucking whores (you fuckin whores)
Thats all you are

You say our records are offensive
(youre a douche, youre a douche)
Our messages aint right
You say were gonna label records
So our kids can grow up right
You fucking whores (let them decide)
Thats all you are

Shit, fuck, satan, death, sex drugs, rape
These seven words youre trying to take
Shit, fuck, satan, death, sex, drugs, rape
Right or wrong its our choice to make
America the beautiful, land of the free
Dont change the words to land of hypocrisy

Now Im startin up a posse (fascist scum, fascist scum)
And well damn sure make you see
Something that offends you
May not be offensive to me
You f*cking whores (you fuckin whores)
Thats all you are

Now you might take offense
To a word like fuck or shit (dick!)
But you fuckin dont have the right (cunt!)
To discriminate me for saying it!
You fuckin whores (you fuckin whores)
Thats all you are

So now Im startin up a posse (motherfucker, motherfucker)
To fight for freedom of choice
To fight for freedom of speech
Were gonna make you hear our voice

And now I dont do this to shock you
(thats the end, thats the end)
I dont do this for spite
Youve got the choice, dont buy it, dont read it,
And dont say your opinions right
You f*cking whores (you fuckin whores)
Thats all you are (cunty, cunty, cunty, cunt)

You know you cant censor my feelings
You cant censor my thoughts
Censorships against
Everything america stands for
You fuckin whores (let us decide)
Thats all you are (and this aint sexist, either)

Nuclear Assult

Jul 12, 2008
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Radio, an insidious form, helps shape your thoughts making you conform
Programming music easy listening, help you achieve that moronic grip
Playing you regurgitated pap, selling products that are mostly crap
Rarely hearing music you want to hear, it has an effect over all these years

Why don't you think for yourself
Live in this self made Hell

Television, the idiot tube, helps to raise our children as fools
Watch the news see what they want you to see, our awareness is limited by network TVs
Moronic sit-coms and one-sided news alter your feeling give you conformist views
Why can't you get that garbage out of your head, you'd better off to read a good book instead

Newspapers, what do they say, Not much I think when they want school kids to pray
Getting the facts from some daily news, you hate the system but adhere to its view
Blaming the dead because they can't complain, shielding officials holding them above
You'd better wake up and see what's plain to see, or end up a willing part of the machine

NuclearAssaultBrainwashed

JJ Brand Hootch, Jimmiejizz, Jamesonbrau.... ?

Jul 8, 2008
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Day 3
July 7th
Scum is settling, ballon still inflated, can hear hissing and see bubbles.

Day 4
July 8th
Scum is almost gone, ballon still looks like a clown nose, there's still a few bubbles rising. Fermentation appears to still be going, this is good.

JJ Brand Hootch, Jimmiejizz, Jamesonbrau.... ?

Jul 6, 2008
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Day 1
July 5th - ~2200
JJ Brand Hootch (work on a new name?)
First yeast batch failed to hydrate, bummer, but that's why we have 20 packs. 18Litre bottle instead of 4L bottle (5 gallons vs. 1). Using 1 gallon mixture for this batch, should equal 2L at the end of the process.

Day 2
July 6th - ~1000
BUBBLES and scum! yay, primary fermentation has started, ballon is swelling
July 6th - ~1400
Ballon "popped from inside the bottle to the outside. Pressure is building, visable bubbles on close inspection.

Possible names: JJ Brand Hootch, Derjur suggests 'jimmiejizz', Tom suggests, 'jamesonbrau' or...
Tom: or as the coroner will refer to it "Exhibit 23"

Tonio K - H.A.T.R.E.D (Life in the Foodchain)

Jun 15, 2008
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H-a-t-r-e-d

*Now I know it’s not unusual
There’s nothing so unique
There’s probably hundreds of wonderful love affairs
That go bad in this town every week
(It’s a big town)
But all of them others
Them sad hearted lovers
Could cry in their beer what the hey
It didn’t concern me
Was none of my business
I never had nothing to say
But suddenly darlin’
The table has turned
You have left me for somebody new
And it’s now it’s hard
To express the resentment I feel
For the years that I wasted on you

But let me put this another way
Okay

Ienz, Zwi, Dri, Fere!

(*Repeat above)

I’m so full of
H-a-t-r-e-d
I’m bitter I’m malign
You got me
P-i-s-s-e-d-O-f-f
I’m angry most of the time
Why don’t you
G-o-t-o-h-e-double “l”
You tramp, you philandering b*tch
I’m going to
K-i-l-l
One of us baby give me time and I’ll decide on which

Now wait a minute
I know I’m acting immature
Acting like a child
I should display some self-control
Instead of going wild like this
And I do wish I could accept all this
And simply life
Which includes pain
And act upon the actual fact
That nobody’s to blame
Yes I wish I was as mellow
As for instance Jackson Browne
But "fountain of sorrow" my a** m*th*r f*ck*r
I hope you wind up in the ground

I’m so full of
H-a-t-r-e-d
I’m bitter I’m malign
You got me
P-i-s-s-e-d-O
I’m angry most of the time
Why don’t you
G-o-t-o-h-e-l-l
You tramp, you philandering b*tch
I’m going to
K-i-l-l
When I’m sober I’ll decide on which

Oh
H-A-T-R-E-D
What’s that spell (etc.)

Maybe with the help of counseling
We can work this out

Boney M - Rasputin

Jun 7, 2008
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Boneymrasputin

Slayer - Exile

Jun 4, 2008
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Even though some things are better left unsaid
There's a few things I need to get off my chest
I need to vent - let me tell you why

I'm suicidal, maniacal, self-destructive
You leave me no hope, no life
Nothing worth living for
I've taken it, can't take it anymore
My worst nightmare
You make me want to slit my own fucking throat
Just so I'll be rid of you
Just to get rid of you

You self-righteous fuck
Give me a reason not to rip your fucking face off
Why don't you take a good look in these eyes
Cause I'm the one that's gonna tear your fucking heart
out
My hate is contagious; you've got no one to run to
EXILE

Just tell me fucking why everything becomes an issue
Your opinion is always senseless - fuck this
You make my fucking skin crawl
I've lived with it - can't stand anymore
My worst nightmare
I want to take a bullet in the fucking head
Every time I think of you, every time I think of you

You self-righteous fuck
Give me a reason not to rip your fucking face off
Why don't you take a good look in these eyes
Cause I'm the one that's gonna tear your fucking heart
out
My hate is contagious
Anyone else need to vent?
You've tried my tolerance; I just want you to die

There's nothing more for me to say
There's nothing more for you to say
There's nothing more for us to say
I fucking hate you anyway
EXILE

Can't count the ways that you light my fuckin fuse
I can't tolerate the sight of you, the thought of you or
anything about you
You know what I want to see?
How many ways can a loser fucking lose
I know you'll find a way
The humility awakening the idiot inside
You spineless fucking maggot - you're just wasting my
time
Get out of my face - Get out of my life
Out of my fucking way - Just die

07_Exile

S.o.d. - Shenanigans

May 30, 2008
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11_-_Shenanigans

Something you should know about Shenanigans Lyrics

Title: S.o.d. - Shenanigans lyrics

Artist: S.o.d.

Visitors: 5 visitors have hited Shenanigans Lyrics since May 27, 2008.

Print: S.o.d. - Shenanigans Lyrics print version

Complimentary "Shenanigans" Ringtone

It's just another Saturday Hanging out at DBA
All I came for was whisky and a bunch of pints
I have a drink or two or three And I feel like I'm on TV
'Cause some girl across the bar is giving me the evil eye
I make a move to see what's up and bump right into some dump jock
The guy gets pissed and he throws his drink right in my face
Well now he started, but I'll finish
But first I'll have another Guinness
Fighting's such a boring thing I gave it up, I always win

Ask me how I sleep at night This is how I live my life
Drinking, smoking, screwing, right!
Don't tell me how to live my life!

Another guy, another day. Why won't this guy just go away
Talk my ear off and I don't want to smell your breath
You like my band, I understand When you say, "I love you man"
Can't I have just a minute to go take a piss?
The he asks me if I'm saved And do I walk with God each day
No way man, I have always been down with sin
He tells me God loves all of us as I get back on the bus
'Cause God just told me I was gonna get my dick sucked!

Ask me how I sleep at night This is how I live my life
Drinking, smoking, screwing, right!
Don't tell me how to live my life!

Good for you, you're born again Yuppie Young Republican
Being straight makes you happy Stay the fuck away from me
So you're gay, oh happy day And you don't smoke, that's just great
And eating meat, oh God forbid
You'll be more fun when you're dead

Another time, far away, I'm in Tampa, FLA
I saw my friends and we went out and got really drunk
Got in the car and drove around
and passed the Yankees training ground
We drove up close and then I went and hopped the fence
I ran around the bases twice and thought the on-deck mat was nice
I put it back though and ran back out to meet my friends
The cops were there, they saw the tape
Straight to jail at any rate
Three month later Howard Stern got George to drop the case!

Ask me how I sleep at night This is how I live my life
Drinking, smoking, screwing, right!
Don't tell me how to live my life!